A comedy play for a large mixed cast. Set in 1948, a storm forces a number of individuals, including a retired colonel, a Russian Countess, a thriller writer, an actress and a vicar, to take shelter in the Mariner's Rest Hotel. It soon becomes apparent that the infamous thief the Red Herring is among them. Along with smuggling activity and a ghost, this turns out to be a very interesting stay but will the Red Herring finally be unmasked?
Male – 7
Female – 9
Teenagers - 3
Excerpt
Colonel: Well I must say, that was a jolly decent dinner, what?
Clifton: The sardine souffle was certainly unusual.
Lydia: Oh no, I have a sardine stain on my dress. ‘Out damned spot!’ (Frantically tries to clean it with a handkerchief).
Lizzie: If you let me have it later, I can clean it for you.
Clifton: (Handing over book) Here you are Edith, personally signed for you.
Edith: Thank you so much. Did you manage to return the other book to it’s rightful owner?
Lizzie: Oh the Veronica Leman novel you mean?
Clifton: I’ve heard of her. Apparently she writes under a pseudonym and her real identity is unknown. She’s very popular.
Countess: She is a disgrace if that book was an example of her work.
Lizzie: It’s only a bit of fun I’m sure.
Countess: Tolerance is a virtue, but like all virtues, when exaggerated it transforms itself into a vice.
Lydia: I quite like a bit of vice now and again.
Colonel: So who did it belong to?
Reverend: (After a pause when they all look at each other) I’m afraid it was mine. I was given it by a parishioner as an example of today’s degenerate society.
Clifton: And was it any good?
Reverend: I really wouldn’t know.
Lydia: Lend it to me, I could do with something to read.
Countess: Sins, like chickens, come home to roost.
Edith: It’s just a book Countess.
Countess: Bah!
Colonel: This wine is excellent, Apparently it’s from the cook’s special cellar.
Clifton: Around here that probably means it’s contraband.
Countess: What is this contraband? Is it a type of sauterne? That is a good wine I think.
Lydia: No Countess, he means smuggled goods. Not surprising when you’re on the coast – I wonder if I can get any cheap nylons?
Countess: Are you a connoisseur of wine Mr Drake? Do give us your opinion please.
Clifton: (Sipping) I detect a hint of gooseberries, grapefruit, dried figs, lapsang souchong…
Lydia: You have no idea have you?
Clifton: Not a clue!
Colonel: Well it’s definitely vintage. Probably as old as I am, what?
Edith: How old are you Colonel?
Countess: In Russia, it is rude to ask a man his age. Because a man’s life is like the River Volga, long and winding and always full of fish. But the age of a fish is of no importance, only the taste.
Colonel: (After a pause) I see. Well I don’t see but there you are, what?
Male – 7
Female – 9
Teenagers - 3
Excerpt
Colonel: Well I must say, that was a jolly decent dinner, what?
Clifton: The sardine souffle was certainly unusual.
Lydia: Oh no, I have a sardine stain on my dress. ‘Out damned spot!’ (Frantically tries to clean it with a handkerchief).
Lizzie: If you let me have it later, I can clean it for you.
Clifton: (Handing over book) Here you are Edith, personally signed for you.
Edith: Thank you so much. Did you manage to return the other book to it’s rightful owner?
Lizzie: Oh the Veronica Leman novel you mean?
Clifton: I’ve heard of her. Apparently she writes under a pseudonym and her real identity is unknown. She’s very popular.
Countess: She is a disgrace if that book was an example of her work.
Lizzie: It’s only a bit of fun I’m sure.
Countess: Tolerance is a virtue, but like all virtues, when exaggerated it transforms itself into a vice.
Lydia: I quite like a bit of vice now and again.
Colonel: So who did it belong to?
Reverend: (After a pause when they all look at each other) I’m afraid it was mine. I was given it by a parishioner as an example of today’s degenerate society.
Clifton: And was it any good?
Reverend: I really wouldn’t know.
Lydia: Lend it to me, I could do with something to read.
Countess: Sins, like chickens, come home to roost.
Edith: It’s just a book Countess.
Countess: Bah!
Colonel: This wine is excellent, Apparently it’s from the cook’s special cellar.
Clifton: Around here that probably means it’s contraband.
Countess: What is this contraband? Is it a type of sauterne? That is a good wine I think.
Lydia: No Countess, he means smuggled goods. Not surprising when you’re on the coast – I wonder if I can get any cheap nylons?
Countess: Are you a connoisseur of wine Mr Drake? Do give us your opinion please.
Clifton: (Sipping) I detect a hint of gooseberries, grapefruit, dried figs, lapsang souchong…
Lydia: You have no idea have you?
Clifton: Not a clue!
Colonel: Well it’s definitely vintage. Probably as old as I am, what?
Edith: How old are you Colonel?
Countess: In Russia, it is rude to ask a man his age. Because a man’s life is like the River Volga, long and winding and always full of fish. But the age of a fish is of no importance, only the taste.
Colonel: (After a pause) I see. Well I don’t see but there you are, what?