This comic version of the classic tale is a reasonably faithful retelling of the story by Oscar Wilde, with the addition of more ghostly characters. These include Reckless Rupert the headless earl, Lady Barbara who cries constanly since dying of a broken heart and William Fisher, who is stuck in the priest's hole in which he died. Lots of visual and sound effects add to the fun, which is suitable for all ages.
Male - 9
Female - 9
Juniors - 2
Note - some parts are interchangeable and could be played by male or female.
Excerpt
Lucretia: I'm afraid something has been spilt here. There is a big red stain on the floor.
Roberts: That stain has always been here.
Mrs Umney: Yes madam, (dramatically) blood has been spilt on that spot.
Lucretia: How horrid! I don't at all care for bloodstains in a sitting room. It must be removed at once.
Mrs Umney: It is the blood of Lady Eleanore de Canterville, who was murdered on that very spot in 1548. Her husband Sir Simon disappeared in very mysterious circumstances soon after.
Roberts: His body has never been discovered, but his spirit still haunts the Chase.
Mrs Umney: The blood stain has been much admired by tourists and others and cannot be removed.
Washington: That's all nonesense. Pinkerton's Champion Stain Remover and Paragon Detergent will clean it up in now time. (She pulls a bottle and cloth out of her picket and starts scouring the floor).
Mrs Umney: (Panicking) Oh no, please you mustn't.
Hiram: Nonesense. We can't have blood stains lying around the place willy nilly.
Lucretia: I really think we should get rid of it.
Mrs Umney: The ghost of Sir Simon will be disturbed. I wouldn't advise it.
Hiram: Utter nonsense!
Washington: (Standing) There you are. I knew Pinkerton would do it!
There is a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder, and Mrs Umney faints into a chair. Roberts shakes his head solemnly and exits UR.
Hiram: What a monstrous climate this is. I guess the old country is so overpopulated that they don't have enough decent weather for everybody.
Virginia: (Fanning Mrs Umney) Poor thing, she seems to have fainted.
Lucretia: My dear Hiram, what can we do with a woman who faints?
Hiram: Charge it to her like you would breakages, she won't faint after that.
Mrs Umney: (Coming to) There's grave trouble coming to Canterville Chase. This storm is a warning.
Washington: Nonsense! A bit of bad weather never hurt anyone.
Mrs Umney: I have seen things with my own eyes, miss, that would make any Christian's hair stand on end, and many and many a night I have not closed my eyes in sleep for the awful things that are done here.
Lucretia: That's fine with us Mrs Umney, we're not afraid of ghosts.
Mrs Umney: May the blessings of providence protect you from harm. I can't stay a moment more in this dreadful place.
Virgina: Please don't leave Mrs Umney.
Hiram: Perhaps I can tempt you with an increase in salary.
Mrs Umney: Well sir, it would have to be a very large one to make me remain.
Hiram: How about ten percent?
Mrs Umney: Done! (Stands up quickly) Now I'll go and finish getting your tea ready. (Exits UR).
Male - 9
Female - 9
Juniors - 2
Note - some parts are interchangeable and could be played by male or female.
Excerpt
Lucretia: I'm afraid something has been spilt here. There is a big red stain on the floor.
Roberts: That stain has always been here.
Mrs Umney: Yes madam, (dramatically) blood has been spilt on that spot.
Lucretia: How horrid! I don't at all care for bloodstains in a sitting room. It must be removed at once.
Mrs Umney: It is the blood of Lady Eleanore de Canterville, who was murdered on that very spot in 1548. Her husband Sir Simon disappeared in very mysterious circumstances soon after.
Roberts: His body has never been discovered, but his spirit still haunts the Chase.
Mrs Umney: The blood stain has been much admired by tourists and others and cannot be removed.
Washington: That's all nonesense. Pinkerton's Champion Stain Remover and Paragon Detergent will clean it up in now time. (She pulls a bottle and cloth out of her picket and starts scouring the floor).
Mrs Umney: (Panicking) Oh no, please you mustn't.
Hiram: Nonesense. We can't have blood stains lying around the place willy nilly.
Lucretia: I really think we should get rid of it.
Mrs Umney: The ghost of Sir Simon will be disturbed. I wouldn't advise it.
Hiram: Utter nonsense!
Washington: (Standing) There you are. I knew Pinkerton would do it!
There is a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder, and Mrs Umney faints into a chair. Roberts shakes his head solemnly and exits UR.
Hiram: What a monstrous climate this is. I guess the old country is so overpopulated that they don't have enough decent weather for everybody.
Virginia: (Fanning Mrs Umney) Poor thing, she seems to have fainted.
Lucretia: My dear Hiram, what can we do with a woman who faints?
Hiram: Charge it to her like you would breakages, she won't faint after that.
Mrs Umney: (Coming to) There's grave trouble coming to Canterville Chase. This storm is a warning.
Washington: Nonsense! A bit of bad weather never hurt anyone.
Mrs Umney: I have seen things with my own eyes, miss, that would make any Christian's hair stand on end, and many and many a night I have not closed my eyes in sleep for the awful things that are done here.
Lucretia: That's fine with us Mrs Umney, we're not afraid of ghosts.
Mrs Umney: May the blessings of providence protect you from harm. I can't stay a moment more in this dreadful place.
Virgina: Please don't leave Mrs Umney.
Hiram: Perhaps I can tempt you with an increase in salary.
Mrs Umney: Well sir, it would have to be a very large one to make me remain.
Hiram: How about ten percent?
Mrs Umney: Done! (Stands up quickly) Now I'll go and finish getting your tea ready. (Exits UR).