"Bravo! I have been to many a panto and this one had the funniest script by a long shot."
(Reviewing Cinderella at the Bob Hope Theatre in Eltham)
(Reviewing Cinderella at the Bob Hope Theatre in Eltham)
This is a funny, joke filled version of the traditional fairy story which has proved very popular with amateur groups around the world. All of the familiar characters are there including Prince Charming, Dandini, the fairy godmother and the hilarious ugly sisters Cruella and Ursula. More comedy is provided by Grime and Slime the pest exterminators and the long suffering Baron Cecil Hardup who is henpecked by his wife Baroness Prunella. There is plenty of opportunity for slapstick with a water-squirting tree, a cooking scene and a laugh-a-minute scene in the ugly sisters’ boudoir. There is also the potential for a spectacular scene when the pumpkin changes to a carriage, although this can also be achieved very simply. This version of the script is particularly suitable for small amateur groups to produce.
Male – 4
Female – 5
Male or female – 4
Juniors - 2
There are also small speaking parts for chorus members & junior dancers if required. As with all pantomime many of these parts could be played by male or female of any age. This has a smaller cast requirement from some of the other scripts making it good for a small group.
Excerpt
Tab scene with two dressing tables facing the audience. On the top of each is a mirror frame, positioned so that the sisters can be seen by the audience through the frames. Behind each dressing table is a chair, with Cruella sitting at one and Ursula at the other.
Cruella: We’d better get a move on, we haven’t long to get ready. The ball starts in three hours.
Ursula: With your face you should have started getting ready three days ago.
Cruella: Beauty is only an outer cover you know.
Ursula: In that case your inner tube’s perished.
Cruella: I’ll have you know that when I was younger I was second to none, well- groomed and handsome.
Ursula: Now look at you – second hand, not too well and gruesome.
Cruella: Once upon a time I was all pink and dimples.
Ursula: Now you’re all drink and pimples. Unlike me – I have the complexion of a schoolgirl of 16.
Cruella: Well give it back to her then, you’re wrinkling it.
Ursula: (Picking up a huge pink lipstick) This lipstick’s nearly all gone.
Cruella: I’m not surprised with the size of your mouth.
Ursula: I do not have a big mouth.
Cruella: Darling, the only mouth I know that’s bigger than yours is the mouth of the River Severn.
Ursula: Don’t be a bore dear!
Cruella: Your mouth is so big you have to keep your false teeth in the spare room.
Ursula: That’s a lie! I keep them in a bucket at the side of the bed. In any case you can talk, your mouth is so big you’ve had to have safety rails fitted to stop pot holers from falling in.
Cruella: I don’t know why you’re bothering to go to the ball, it’s me the prince will want.
Ursula: Since when has he been interested in archaeology?
Cruella: What do you mean? I’m only just over the age of consent.
Ursula: From what I can see you’re heading for the age of collapse.
Cruella: You can’t upset me darling. By the time tonight is over I shall be the new princess and you’ll be back where you belong – in the sewers.
Ursula: We’ll soon see about that. A few soft words breathed gently in the right direction and the Prince will by lying at my feet.
Cruella: I wouldn’t be at all surprised - your breath will knock him unconscious!
Ursula: Look darling, why are we fighting? After all sisters should stick together.
Song suggestion – Sisters
Cruella: (Looking in the mirror) Arghhhhhhhh! Who’s that?
Ursula: (Looking over her shoulder) That’s me.
Cruella: Thank goodness, I thought it was me.
Ursula: Does sleep make you beautiful?
Cruella: Of course it does.
Ursula: Then you must have been lying awake a lot.
Cruella: Don’t be so cheeky. Men say I have everything they want.
Ursula: You have – muscles, a hairy chest and a moustache.
Cruella: Talking of sleep, I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up half the pillow had gone.
Ursula: Well I dreamt I was eating Shredded Wheat and when I woke up half the mattress was gone.
Cruella: That’s nothing. I dreamt I was in bed with a horse and when I woke up I was.
Ursula: Really?
Cruella: Yes, it was a nightmare!
Male – 4
Female – 5
Male or female – 4
Juniors - 2
There are also small speaking parts for chorus members & junior dancers if required. As with all pantomime many of these parts could be played by male or female of any age. This has a smaller cast requirement from some of the other scripts making it good for a small group.
Excerpt
Tab scene with two dressing tables facing the audience. On the top of each is a mirror frame, positioned so that the sisters can be seen by the audience through the frames. Behind each dressing table is a chair, with Cruella sitting at one and Ursula at the other.
Cruella: We’d better get a move on, we haven’t long to get ready. The ball starts in three hours.
Ursula: With your face you should have started getting ready three days ago.
Cruella: Beauty is only an outer cover you know.
Ursula: In that case your inner tube’s perished.
Cruella: I’ll have you know that when I was younger I was second to none, well- groomed and handsome.
Ursula: Now look at you – second hand, not too well and gruesome.
Cruella: Once upon a time I was all pink and dimples.
Ursula: Now you’re all drink and pimples. Unlike me – I have the complexion of a schoolgirl of 16.
Cruella: Well give it back to her then, you’re wrinkling it.
Ursula: (Picking up a huge pink lipstick) This lipstick’s nearly all gone.
Cruella: I’m not surprised with the size of your mouth.
Ursula: I do not have a big mouth.
Cruella: Darling, the only mouth I know that’s bigger than yours is the mouth of the River Severn.
Ursula: Don’t be a bore dear!
Cruella: Your mouth is so big you have to keep your false teeth in the spare room.
Ursula: That’s a lie! I keep them in a bucket at the side of the bed. In any case you can talk, your mouth is so big you’ve had to have safety rails fitted to stop pot holers from falling in.
Cruella: I don’t know why you’re bothering to go to the ball, it’s me the prince will want.
Ursula: Since when has he been interested in archaeology?
Cruella: What do you mean? I’m only just over the age of consent.
Ursula: From what I can see you’re heading for the age of collapse.
Cruella: You can’t upset me darling. By the time tonight is over I shall be the new princess and you’ll be back where you belong – in the sewers.
Ursula: We’ll soon see about that. A few soft words breathed gently in the right direction and the Prince will by lying at my feet.
Cruella: I wouldn’t be at all surprised - your breath will knock him unconscious!
Ursula: Look darling, why are we fighting? After all sisters should stick together.
Song suggestion – Sisters
Cruella: (Looking in the mirror) Arghhhhhhhh! Who’s that?
Ursula: (Looking over her shoulder) That’s me.
Cruella: Thank goodness, I thought it was me.
Ursula: Does sleep make you beautiful?
Cruella: Of course it does.
Ursula: Then you must have been lying awake a lot.
Cruella: Don’t be so cheeky. Men say I have everything they want.
Ursula: You have – muscles, a hairy chest and a moustache.
Cruella: Talking of sleep, I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up half the pillow had gone.
Ursula: Well I dreamt I was eating Shredded Wheat and when I woke up half the mattress was gone.
Cruella: That’s nothing. I dreamt I was in bed with a horse and when I woke up I was.
Ursula: Really?
Cruella: Yes, it was a nightmare!