This is an unusual story but with all of the pantomime traditions. Set in the Regency England of Georgette Heyer and Jane Austen, the action centres around the 'Get 'em Inn' pub, run by Joe the Landlord and his sister Sally Saucepot. Our hero Dick Turpin is supported by the hapless would-be highwaymen Pete Parsnip and Sam Swede. Supporting characters include members of the aristocracy, including the evil Sir Basil Beastly, Bow Street Runners, free traders and chimney sweeps. Lord Miles Cavendish has returned to England to find out who killed the man he was accused of murdering and stolen a valuable ring. He meets Georgiana who has climbed out of a window to avoid marriage, and together they attempt to solve the crime. The action features a bottomless sedan chair, a carriage ride and a secret passage, while slapstick is provided by the junior chimney sweeps as well as a ghost.
Male - 3
Female - 8
Male or female - 10
Juniors - 5 (but can be adjusted to suit any number)
Excerpt
Dick Turpin enters DL, wearing the usual black cloak and mask. Pete Parsnip and Sam Swede enter DR, wearing brightly coloured cloaks and masks.
Dick: There you are, I wondered where you’d got to.
Pete: We were getting our disguises.
Sam: And sorting our aliases.
Pete: We want to be famous highwaymen exactly like you.
Dick: (Looking at them) Well, not exactly like me.
Pete: Do you like the cloaks? We thought we’d brighten things up a bit.
Dick: There’s just one little problem with that.
Sam: What’s that then?
Dick: I wear black so that I can blend into the night and not be spotted until l jump out on unsuspecting travellers.
Pete: Ah! We might not blend in quite so well.
Dick: Or even at all.
Sam: We could hide in a flower bed and not be spotted.
Dick: Yes, because there are loads of those on (local place) Heath.
Pete: Sorry boss!
Dick: Never mind. Tell me your aliases.
Pete: (Proudly) I’m Pete Parsnip.
Sam: (Also proudly) And I’m Sam Swede.
Dick: Any particular reason for those names?
Pete: Well you’re Dick Turnip so we thought we needed to be vegetables too.
Dick: You’re certainly a pair of vegetables.
Pete: So what do we do next?
Dick: You wait for someone rich to come along. Then you jump out and say Stand and Deliver.
Pete: We can do that.
Sam: Not a problem.
Dick: Right then, you give it a go. I’ll meet you at the crossroads later to see what you’ve managed to get.
Pete: Righto boss.
Sam: See you later Mr Turnip.
Dick exits DL.
Pete: Hey Sam, don’t look now but I think someone’s coming.
Sam: (Covering his eyes) Okey doke.
Pete: What are you doing?
Sam: Not looking now.
Pete: You idiot! Open your eyes and get ready for action.
They both hold a ‘ready’ position. Hinge and Bracket enter DR.
Pete & Sam: Stand and deliver!
Hinge: Pardon?
Pete: We said, Stand and deliver!
Hinge: We don’t work for Amazon.
Sam: No – stand and deliver!
Bracket: And we’re certainly not about to deliver a baby.
Pete: (Waving his pistol) Stand and deliver or you’ll regret it.
Hinge: Don’t shoot!
Pete: Hand over your cash then.
Sam: And your jewellery.
Bracket: We don’t have much on us.
Hinge: I’ve got a penny, you can have that.
Bracket: And I’ve got a packet of Haribo.
Pete: That’s not good enough, you’ll have to give us something more than that.
Hinge and Bracket whisper together then look coy.
Hinge: We can give you a kiss if you like.
Pete: That’s not quite what we had in mind.
Sam: Aren’t you rich ladies?
Hinge: Oh no, we’re rich ladies’ maids, that’s not at all the same thing.
Bracket: Who are you anyway?
Pete: We’re notorious highwaymen.
The girls giggle.
Hinge: A penny and a kiss is my final offer.
Bracket: And you can have a kiss and my sweets.
Hinge: Take it or leave it.
Pete: We’ll leave it thanks!
Sam: Come on, let’s scarper.
Hinge & Bracket: See you soon!
Pete & Sam: Not if we see you first! (They run off DL).
Male - 3
Female - 8
Male or female - 10
Juniors - 5 (but can be adjusted to suit any number)
Excerpt
Dick Turpin enters DL, wearing the usual black cloak and mask. Pete Parsnip and Sam Swede enter DR, wearing brightly coloured cloaks and masks.
Dick: There you are, I wondered where you’d got to.
Pete: We were getting our disguises.
Sam: And sorting our aliases.
Pete: We want to be famous highwaymen exactly like you.
Dick: (Looking at them) Well, not exactly like me.
Pete: Do you like the cloaks? We thought we’d brighten things up a bit.
Dick: There’s just one little problem with that.
Sam: What’s that then?
Dick: I wear black so that I can blend into the night and not be spotted until l jump out on unsuspecting travellers.
Pete: Ah! We might not blend in quite so well.
Dick: Or even at all.
Sam: We could hide in a flower bed and not be spotted.
Dick: Yes, because there are loads of those on (local place) Heath.
Pete: Sorry boss!
Dick: Never mind. Tell me your aliases.
Pete: (Proudly) I’m Pete Parsnip.
Sam: (Also proudly) And I’m Sam Swede.
Dick: Any particular reason for those names?
Pete: Well you’re Dick Turnip so we thought we needed to be vegetables too.
Dick: You’re certainly a pair of vegetables.
Pete: So what do we do next?
Dick: You wait for someone rich to come along. Then you jump out and say Stand and Deliver.
Pete: We can do that.
Sam: Not a problem.
Dick: Right then, you give it a go. I’ll meet you at the crossroads later to see what you’ve managed to get.
Pete: Righto boss.
Sam: See you later Mr Turnip.
Dick exits DL.
Pete: Hey Sam, don’t look now but I think someone’s coming.
Sam: (Covering his eyes) Okey doke.
Pete: What are you doing?
Sam: Not looking now.
Pete: You idiot! Open your eyes and get ready for action.
They both hold a ‘ready’ position. Hinge and Bracket enter DR.
Pete & Sam: Stand and deliver!
Hinge: Pardon?
Pete: We said, Stand and deliver!
Hinge: We don’t work for Amazon.
Sam: No – stand and deliver!
Bracket: And we’re certainly not about to deliver a baby.
Pete: (Waving his pistol) Stand and deliver or you’ll regret it.
Hinge: Don’t shoot!
Pete: Hand over your cash then.
Sam: And your jewellery.
Bracket: We don’t have much on us.
Hinge: I’ve got a penny, you can have that.
Bracket: And I’ve got a packet of Haribo.
Pete: That’s not good enough, you’ll have to give us something more than that.
Hinge and Bracket whisper together then look coy.
Hinge: We can give you a kiss if you like.
Pete: That’s not quite what we had in mind.
Sam: Aren’t you rich ladies?
Hinge: Oh no, we’re rich ladies’ maids, that’s not at all the same thing.
Bracket: Who are you anyway?
Pete: We’re notorious highwaymen.
The girls giggle.
Hinge: A penny and a kiss is my final offer.
Bracket: And you can have a kiss and my sweets.
Hinge: Take it or leave it.
Pete: We’ll leave it thanks!
Sam: Come on, let’s scarper.
Hinge & Bracket: See you soon!
Pete & Sam: Not if we see you first! (They run off DL).