"A very funny show", "A marvellous play", "A brilliant script", "I laughed so much I thought they'd throw me out"
(Comments from audience members)
(Comments from audience members)
A comedy play for a large mixed cast. Set in 1985, a church group decide to put on a play to help fund repairs to the roof. Playwright Olivier Marks has written a script especially for them, parodying American soaps. Meanwhile a gang of hapless robbers are using the church hall to drill through into the bank vault next door and recover their previously stolen loot. The only way for the gang to continue with their plan is to get involved in the play, with hilarious consequences. A few of the parts could be played by men or women, making this a versatile script.
Male – 8
Female – 12
Juniors - 4 (could be adjusted)
Excerpt
Doris: Hello Theresa, nice to see you.
Theresa: Hello all.
Doris: I was hoping to check the date of the flower show with you. The W.I. will be entering in every category this year.
Theresa: Super! Though you’ll face some stiff competition in the fruit and vegetable category. I hear Jim has a huge cucumber and Tina’s melons need to be seen to be believed.
The cubs giggle and Maggie shushes them. Kelly and Lucy enter DR, wearing ra-ra skirts.
Kelly: Is this the auditions?
Colin: Well I don’t know if we’re auditioning. It depends how many turn up. How did you hear about the play?
Lucy: Barbara told us about it at the youth club on Tuesday.
Kelly: We walked here specially tonight.
Maggie: It’s a wonder you didn’t catch your death walking in those outfits.
Theresa: Don’t you keep up with the times Maggie? Ra-ra skirts are all the rage.
Maggie: They certainly get me in a rage!
Julie: It’s lovely to see you girls. I remember you from Sunday school – Kelly and Lucy isn’t it?
Lucy: That’s right.
Kelly: We’ve missed Top of the Pops to come this evening.
Doris: I’m sure you haven’t missed much.
Lucy: Duran Duran were on.
Colin: Then we’re especially pleased that you made the effort to come. Is Barbara coming too?
Kelly: Yes if she’s managed to climb down.
Hope: Climb down from where?
Lucy: She’s been staging a sit in up an old oak tree to stop the ring road being built.
Julie: That sounds different from her usual protests.
Kelly: (Giggling) She’s branching out.
Theresa: I thought I hadn’t see her around for a while.
Lucy: She won’t be too long, she’s borrowed my brother’s chopper.
Doris: I thought she was trying to save the tree, not chop it down.
Julie: A chopper’s a bike Doris.
Doris: Really? Well I never.
Alan Smith enters DL with Olivier Marks. Alan is carrying a bundle of scripts.
Alan: Evening everyone. This is my cousin Rich…(Olivier coughs) I mean Olivier Marks.
Olivier: Good evening! Delighted to be here.
Colin: (Shaking his hand) Welcome Olivier and thank you so much for offering your time like this. We’re really very grateful to you.
Olivier: I’m always happy to support a worthy cause. I understand your roof is in a bad way.
Colin: I’m afraid so. We need an injection of cash to give the repair fund a boost.
Olivier: (Looking around) This stage certainly has a kind of rustic charm. It’s a little small but I’m sure we can do something with it.
Theresa: We’re so excited to hear your script.
Lizzie: What’s it about?
Olivier: It’s a pastiche of current popular culture. A parody of modern American soaps, based on a combination of Dallas and Dynasty with a touch of the Colbys thrown in for good measure. I’ve called it Dallasty.
Doris: Sounds more like a travesty.
Olivier: Pardon?
Julie: (Hurredly) She said she wants a cup of tea.
Male – 8
Female – 12
Juniors - 4 (could be adjusted)
Excerpt
Doris: Hello Theresa, nice to see you.
Theresa: Hello all.
Doris: I was hoping to check the date of the flower show with you. The W.I. will be entering in every category this year.
Theresa: Super! Though you’ll face some stiff competition in the fruit and vegetable category. I hear Jim has a huge cucumber and Tina’s melons need to be seen to be believed.
The cubs giggle and Maggie shushes them. Kelly and Lucy enter DR, wearing ra-ra skirts.
Kelly: Is this the auditions?
Colin: Well I don’t know if we’re auditioning. It depends how many turn up. How did you hear about the play?
Lucy: Barbara told us about it at the youth club on Tuesday.
Kelly: We walked here specially tonight.
Maggie: It’s a wonder you didn’t catch your death walking in those outfits.
Theresa: Don’t you keep up with the times Maggie? Ra-ra skirts are all the rage.
Maggie: They certainly get me in a rage!
Julie: It’s lovely to see you girls. I remember you from Sunday school – Kelly and Lucy isn’t it?
Lucy: That’s right.
Kelly: We’ve missed Top of the Pops to come this evening.
Doris: I’m sure you haven’t missed much.
Lucy: Duran Duran were on.
Colin: Then we’re especially pleased that you made the effort to come. Is Barbara coming too?
Kelly: Yes if she’s managed to climb down.
Hope: Climb down from where?
Lucy: She’s been staging a sit in up an old oak tree to stop the ring road being built.
Julie: That sounds different from her usual protests.
Kelly: (Giggling) She’s branching out.
Theresa: I thought I hadn’t see her around for a while.
Lucy: She won’t be too long, she’s borrowed my brother’s chopper.
Doris: I thought she was trying to save the tree, not chop it down.
Julie: A chopper’s a bike Doris.
Doris: Really? Well I never.
Alan Smith enters DL with Olivier Marks. Alan is carrying a bundle of scripts.
Alan: Evening everyone. This is my cousin Rich…(Olivier coughs) I mean Olivier Marks.
Olivier: Good evening! Delighted to be here.
Colin: (Shaking his hand) Welcome Olivier and thank you so much for offering your time like this. We’re really very grateful to you.
Olivier: I’m always happy to support a worthy cause. I understand your roof is in a bad way.
Colin: I’m afraid so. We need an injection of cash to give the repair fund a boost.
Olivier: (Looking around) This stage certainly has a kind of rustic charm. It’s a little small but I’m sure we can do something with it.
Theresa: We’re so excited to hear your script.
Lizzie: What’s it about?
Olivier: It’s a pastiche of current popular culture. A parody of modern American soaps, based on a combination of Dallas and Dynasty with a touch of the Colbys thrown in for good measure. I’ve called it Dallasty.
Doris: Sounds more like a travesty.
Olivier: Pardon?
Julie: (Hurredly) She said she wants a cup of tea.