This unusual pantomime is set in the Wild West and features some familiar characters including Calamity Jane, Annie Oakley and Billy the Kid, as well as Wyatt Burp and Wild Bill Hiccup from the Windy City. Sheriff Ringo Starr has arrived with his daughter Rosie to try to bring order to the lawless town of Greedy Gulch. In order to do this he has to defeat the evil Mayor Ronald Rump who wants to put a railroad through the town. Meanwhile our dame, Belle Bottoms, is trying to keep the Golden Garter Saloon open despite the Mayor's attempts to close her down, together with protests from the ladies of the Temperance League. When Ronald Rump brings in the infamous Slim Pickings, fastest gun in the West, the time has come for the townsfolk to fight back. This pantomime provides plenty of opportunities for slapstick, including moving bushes and talking sacks, and culminates in the bun fight at the Hokey Cokey Corral.
There is also an option to add in larger speaking parts for 4 dancers as Pinkerton detectives. Please state if you require these extra lines when ordering a perusal script.
Male - 3
Female -6
Male or female - 9
Junior - 4 (can be adjusted)
There are also small speaking parts for dancers in the chorus. As with all pantomime many of these parts could be played by male or female of any age.
Excerpt
Scene 2 – Outside the Town Hall
A front cloth scene. Beatrice and Blanche enter DR with placards reading ‘ban the demon drink’ and ‘pull the garter down.’
Blanche: Come along dear, we need to hand our petition into the town hall.
Beatrice: Shouldn’t we try to get some more names on it first?
Blanche: How many do we have?
Beatrice: (Unrolling a very long scroll and studying it) Two.
Blanche: I thought you were going to ask the neighbours to sign it.
Beatrice: I don’t like the neighbours, they’re so nosy.
Blanche: What do you mean dear?
Beatrice: Whenever I’m staring out of the window to see what they’re up to I see them staring right back.
Blanche: I know how you feel. I can hear my neighbours talking about me every time I put a glass to the wall.
Mayor Rump enters DL
Mayor: What are you two doing here? The OAP lunch is next week.
Beatrice: How dare you! We’re not a day over si…fifty.
Blanche: You’re very rude.
Mayor: Well why don’t you go away then and give us all a break.
Beatrice: We’re here to hand in this petition.
Mayor: I’m not interested.
Blanche: We want to close down the Golden Garter saloon.
Mayor: Well maybe I am a bit interested. It appears we have a common enemy.
Beatrice: You’re right, that Belle Bottoms is very common.
Mayor: Why don’t you take your placards to the saloon tonight and stage a sit in.
Blanche: What a good idea. Do you think it’ll work?
Mayor: No but it’ll annoy those idiot townsfolk, which is the next best thing.
Beatrice: Come along Blanche. Let’s have an afternoon nap so we’re ready for tonight’s protest.
Mayor: That’s right, you toddle off now, you’re getting on my nerves. (To audience) And I include you in that! Pensioners and kids, I can’t stand any of them. If you don’t shut up I’ll make you listen to the whole of my latest election speech.
Beatrice and Blanche exit DR. Bill Doolin and Ben Duggan enter DL.
Bill: We done what you asked sir. We emptied the coach of valuables and left it in the creek.
Mayor: It’s a shame you didn’t get rid of the man on the stage at the same time.
Bill: I know what you mean, I can’t stand actors either.
Mayor: I was referring to the new sheriff.
Bill: I didn’t know he was an actor.
Mayor: I give up!
Ben: We’ve come for our money.
Mayor: How predictable! Very well, here it is. (He hands them a coin each). I’ve another job but I’m not sure you’re up to it.
Bill: We’re up to anything you ask of us. We’re very intelligent.
Mayor: I sincerely doubt that.
Ben: Go on then, test us!
Mayor: Very well. What is 1 and 1.
Ben: Um…eleven.
Mayor: Hmmm. Name two days of the week beginning with T.
Bill: That’s easy - today and tomorrow.
Mayor: You two are even more stupid than I thought but since there’s no-one else to ask you’ve got the job. I need you to make sure that tonight’s entertainment at the saloon is a disaster so I can put Belle Bottoms out of business.
Ben: Easy peasy!
Bill: Why are you so keen to close down the saloon?
Mayor: Because the railroad is coming and is going to make me rich. It’ll be going straight through the town and if the saloon closes now people will start to leave Greedy Gulch.
Bill: Why can’t you just evict everyone?
Ben: Or shoot them?
Mayor: Because my brother owns half the town and has sent his pesky son to keep an eye on me. He’s a law-abiding citizen – yuk! I’ve always blamed the milkman for that. If he thinks I’ve forced people to leave he’ll run me out of town and I detest running.
Bill: But what about the new sheriff? Won’t he be a fly in the ointment?
Mayor: Just a minor irritation, much like this extremely annoying audience. One look at them and I want a good scratch. (To the audience) Are you really booing me? You’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who cares what you think. Now then, back to business. I’ve hired the most dangerous gunfighter in the West to get rid of the sheriff and help me to realise my dream of ultimate wealth.
There is also an option to add in larger speaking parts for 4 dancers as Pinkerton detectives. Please state if you require these extra lines when ordering a perusal script.
Male - 3
Female -6
Male or female - 9
Junior - 4 (can be adjusted)
There are also small speaking parts for dancers in the chorus. As with all pantomime many of these parts could be played by male or female of any age.
Excerpt
Scene 2 – Outside the Town Hall
A front cloth scene. Beatrice and Blanche enter DR with placards reading ‘ban the demon drink’ and ‘pull the garter down.’
Blanche: Come along dear, we need to hand our petition into the town hall.
Beatrice: Shouldn’t we try to get some more names on it first?
Blanche: How many do we have?
Beatrice: (Unrolling a very long scroll and studying it) Two.
Blanche: I thought you were going to ask the neighbours to sign it.
Beatrice: I don’t like the neighbours, they’re so nosy.
Blanche: What do you mean dear?
Beatrice: Whenever I’m staring out of the window to see what they’re up to I see them staring right back.
Blanche: I know how you feel. I can hear my neighbours talking about me every time I put a glass to the wall.
Mayor Rump enters DL
Mayor: What are you two doing here? The OAP lunch is next week.
Beatrice: How dare you! We’re not a day over si…fifty.
Blanche: You’re very rude.
Mayor: Well why don’t you go away then and give us all a break.
Beatrice: We’re here to hand in this petition.
Mayor: I’m not interested.
Blanche: We want to close down the Golden Garter saloon.
Mayor: Well maybe I am a bit interested. It appears we have a common enemy.
Beatrice: You’re right, that Belle Bottoms is very common.
Mayor: Why don’t you take your placards to the saloon tonight and stage a sit in.
Blanche: What a good idea. Do you think it’ll work?
Mayor: No but it’ll annoy those idiot townsfolk, which is the next best thing.
Beatrice: Come along Blanche. Let’s have an afternoon nap so we’re ready for tonight’s protest.
Mayor: That’s right, you toddle off now, you’re getting on my nerves. (To audience) And I include you in that! Pensioners and kids, I can’t stand any of them. If you don’t shut up I’ll make you listen to the whole of my latest election speech.
Beatrice and Blanche exit DR. Bill Doolin and Ben Duggan enter DL.
Bill: We done what you asked sir. We emptied the coach of valuables and left it in the creek.
Mayor: It’s a shame you didn’t get rid of the man on the stage at the same time.
Bill: I know what you mean, I can’t stand actors either.
Mayor: I was referring to the new sheriff.
Bill: I didn’t know he was an actor.
Mayor: I give up!
Ben: We’ve come for our money.
Mayor: How predictable! Very well, here it is. (He hands them a coin each). I’ve another job but I’m not sure you’re up to it.
Bill: We’re up to anything you ask of us. We’re very intelligent.
Mayor: I sincerely doubt that.
Ben: Go on then, test us!
Mayor: Very well. What is 1 and 1.
Ben: Um…eleven.
Mayor: Hmmm. Name two days of the week beginning with T.
Bill: That’s easy - today and tomorrow.
Mayor: You two are even more stupid than I thought but since there’s no-one else to ask you’ve got the job. I need you to make sure that tonight’s entertainment at the saloon is a disaster so I can put Belle Bottoms out of business.
Ben: Easy peasy!
Bill: Why are you so keen to close down the saloon?
Mayor: Because the railroad is coming and is going to make me rich. It’ll be going straight through the town and if the saloon closes now people will start to leave Greedy Gulch.
Bill: Why can’t you just evict everyone?
Ben: Or shoot them?
Mayor: Because my brother owns half the town and has sent his pesky son to keep an eye on me. He’s a law-abiding citizen – yuk! I’ve always blamed the milkman for that. If he thinks I’ve forced people to leave he’ll run me out of town and I detest running.
Bill: But what about the new sheriff? Won’t he be a fly in the ointment?
Mayor: Just a minor irritation, much like this extremely annoying audience. One look at them and I want a good scratch. (To the audience) Are you really booing me? You’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who cares what you think. Now then, back to business. I’ve hired the most dangerous gunfighter in the West to get rid of the sheriff and help me to realise my dream of ultimate wealth.