"A traditional style panto, with a very funny script."
"Lots of fun for old and young...great family entertainment."
(Reviews of Marloo Theatre Players)
"Lots of fun for old and young...great family entertainment."
(Reviews of Marloo Theatre Players)
This is an extremely funny pantomime version of the traditional story of Robin Hood and his merry men. All of the usual characters are there including the evil Sheriff of Nottingham and Guy of Gisborne, assisted by the hapless Normans – Norman Smith and Norman Jones. The beautiful Maid Marion is supported by her lady in waiting Bess Before who is a traditional pantomime dame. Magic is provided by the Lady of the Wood and the witches Hubble, Bubble
and Trouble. There are lots of opportunities for comedy including moving trees, a hypnotised Sheriff, fun and games with a love potion, and a wandering minstrel who makes repeated attempts to sing against all the odds.
Male – 6
Female – 5
Male or female – 8
There are also small speaking parts for various chorus members and juniors. This is pantomime so some of these parts could be played by male or female of any age.
Excerpt
Shouts are heard offstage, then Norman Smith and Norman Jones come running on DR.
Smith: Sire, bad news!
Sheriff: Not again, you know how much I hate bad news. Go on, give it to me straight.
Jones: Well, you know you sent us to guard Prince John?
Sheriff: Don’t tell me – you didn’t do a good job. You two can’t do anything right, you’re just idiots. Next time I want an idiot to do a job I’ll send Gisborne.
Gisborne: Yeah, that’s right…I think!
Smith: It wasn’t our fault, it was that Robin Hood.
Jones: His band of outlaws captured us and stole the Prince’s gold.
Smith: He’s hopping mad.
Bess: Did they steal his wooden leg as well?
Sheriff: Where’s the Prince now.
Prince John enters DR and they all bow or curtsey.
Prince: I’m here and in a very bad mood.
Bess: Ooh I say, a real live prince! I’m honoured your majestical majesty.
Prince: Who are you?
Marion: This is my lady in waiting, Bess Before.
Prince: Best before when?
Bess: You know I’m getting really fed up with this. If you weren’t a prince I’d slap you.
Prince: And if you weren’t a lady I’d slap you back.
Bess: Did you hear that Marion? He called me a lady. I’ve never been called that before, he must fancy me. I’m all of a flutter now. Sorry Sheriff but you’ve got competition. Have you ever thought about getting married you royal rascal?
Prince: It has crossed my mind. Alas I have no heir.
Sheriff: I’m getting a bit thin on top myself.
Marion: I hear you had a problem in the forest today my lord.
Prince: Indeed, that ruffian Robin Hood robbed and tortured us. He has stolen my gold for his own use.
Marion: Oh I’m sure he wouldn’t do that.
Sheriff: What do you know about it girl? The man is a menace and must be stopped. I want Robin Hood behind bars.
Jones: But sire, the Nottingham pub is already fully staffed.
Smith: He means prison bars you idiot.
Sheriff: I’m a laughing stock because of that outlaw. People point at me in the street and mock. Of course I have them flogged but it’s still hurtful.
Prince: I know how you feel, I’m very depressed at the moment.
Gisborne: Why not throw stones at some peasants? That always cheers you up.
Prince: No, I did that yesterday and it didn’t help.
Bess: I could cheer you up your majesty. I’m a good time girl.
Sheriff: A good time with you is enough to depress anyone.
Bess: Are you getting jealous you naughty man?
Prince: What I need is to drown my sorrows.
Gisborne: But how will we get Robin to go swimming?
Prince: I mean drown them in wine you fool.
Sheriff: Come you highness. I have a very good wine in my study, we’ll drink to Robin Hood’s capture.
Prince: What year is the wine?
Sheriff: 1197.
Prince: Was that a good year?
Sheriff: Well I had fun.
Smith: What would you like us to do?
Sheriff: I would tell you but there are children present.
Jones: Shall we put up another poster?
Sheriff: You can issue a decree.
Jones: What’s that?
Smith: Stupid! It’s what you get from a university.
Gisborne: He means a proclamation, an edict.
Bess: I think he’s swallowed a dictionary.
Smith: We can do that. We’re not as dim as we look.
Jones: You speak for yourself.
Sheriff: Enough of this nonsense! Bring me the severed head of Robin Hood – dead or alive. Oh, and if you pass the bakers could you get me a crusty loaf and one of those little cakes that I like. You know the ones with the pink icing and the cherry on top.
Jones: On our way.
Smith: We won’t fail you this time.
Sheriff: You’d better not or you’ll find yourself in the stocks with rotten tomatoes being thrown at you.
Jones: Oh no, please not that!
Smith: It might hurt.
Jones: And I’m allergic to tomatoes.
and Trouble. There are lots of opportunities for comedy including moving trees, a hypnotised Sheriff, fun and games with a love potion, and a wandering minstrel who makes repeated attempts to sing against all the odds.
Male – 6
Female – 5
Male or female – 8
There are also small speaking parts for various chorus members and juniors. This is pantomime so some of these parts could be played by male or female of any age.
Excerpt
Shouts are heard offstage, then Norman Smith and Norman Jones come running on DR.
Smith: Sire, bad news!
Sheriff: Not again, you know how much I hate bad news. Go on, give it to me straight.
Jones: Well, you know you sent us to guard Prince John?
Sheriff: Don’t tell me – you didn’t do a good job. You two can’t do anything right, you’re just idiots. Next time I want an idiot to do a job I’ll send Gisborne.
Gisborne: Yeah, that’s right…I think!
Smith: It wasn’t our fault, it was that Robin Hood.
Jones: His band of outlaws captured us and stole the Prince’s gold.
Smith: He’s hopping mad.
Bess: Did they steal his wooden leg as well?
Sheriff: Where’s the Prince now.
Prince John enters DR and they all bow or curtsey.
Prince: I’m here and in a very bad mood.
Bess: Ooh I say, a real live prince! I’m honoured your majestical majesty.
Prince: Who are you?
Marion: This is my lady in waiting, Bess Before.
Prince: Best before when?
Bess: You know I’m getting really fed up with this. If you weren’t a prince I’d slap you.
Prince: And if you weren’t a lady I’d slap you back.
Bess: Did you hear that Marion? He called me a lady. I’ve never been called that before, he must fancy me. I’m all of a flutter now. Sorry Sheriff but you’ve got competition. Have you ever thought about getting married you royal rascal?
Prince: It has crossed my mind. Alas I have no heir.
Sheriff: I’m getting a bit thin on top myself.
Marion: I hear you had a problem in the forest today my lord.
Prince: Indeed, that ruffian Robin Hood robbed and tortured us. He has stolen my gold for his own use.
Marion: Oh I’m sure he wouldn’t do that.
Sheriff: What do you know about it girl? The man is a menace and must be stopped. I want Robin Hood behind bars.
Jones: But sire, the Nottingham pub is already fully staffed.
Smith: He means prison bars you idiot.
Sheriff: I’m a laughing stock because of that outlaw. People point at me in the street and mock. Of course I have them flogged but it’s still hurtful.
Prince: I know how you feel, I’m very depressed at the moment.
Gisborne: Why not throw stones at some peasants? That always cheers you up.
Prince: No, I did that yesterday and it didn’t help.
Bess: I could cheer you up your majesty. I’m a good time girl.
Sheriff: A good time with you is enough to depress anyone.
Bess: Are you getting jealous you naughty man?
Prince: What I need is to drown my sorrows.
Gisborne: But how will we get Robin to go swimming?
Prince: I mean drown them in wine you fool.
Sheriff: Come you highness. I have a very good wine in my study, we’ll drink to Robin Hood’s capture.
Prince: What year is the wine?
Sheriff: 1197.
Prince: Was that a good year?
Sheriff: Well I had fun.
Smith: What would you like us to do?
Sheriff: I would tell you but there are children present.
Jones: Shall we put up another poster?
Sheriff: You can issue a decree.
Jones: What’s that?
Smith: Stupid! It’s what you get from a university.
Gisborne: He means a proclamation, an edict.
Bess: I think he’s swallowed a dictionary.
Smith: We can do that. We’re not as dim as we look.
Jones: You speak for yourself.
Sheriff: Enough of this nonsense! Bring me the severed head of Robin Hood – dead or alive. Oh, and if you pass the bakers could you get me a crusty loaf and one of those little cakes that I like. You know the ones with the pink icing and the cherry on top.
Jones: On our way.
Smith: We won’t fail you this time.
Sheriff: You’d better not or you’ll find yourself in the stocks with rotten tomatoes being thrown at you.
Jones: Oh no, please not that!
Smith: It might hurt.
Jones: And I’m allergic to tomatoes.